Don't try to win an argument in Japanese. Try to read the air ( Kuuki o yomu ). Rule #2: When someone says "Chotto..." (It's a little...), they actually mean "Absolutely impossible, but I am saving your face."

Bob was confused. "But I just said 'I hear you,' not 'I agree'!"

"Nihongo is not a set of rules. It is a set of relationships. If you learn one phrase a day from these notes, you will stop being a Hen na gaijin and start being a Naruhodo ne (Ah, I see) friend." End of the introductory story. Now, turn the page to Note #1: "Sumimasen" — The Magic Word for Everything from Apology to Thank You.

After the meeting, the boss was furious. "Why did you agree to the impossible deadline?" he yelled.

They could recite formal textbook Japanese ( keigo ) perfectly. But when they went to a sakaba (pub), their landlord yelled (No!), or a child on the train said "Hen na gaijin" (Weird foreigner), they froze. The textbooks had failed them.

The gap between Classroom Nihongo and Real Nihongo .

Enter the Mizutanis. They began writing a tiny column in The Japan Times titled The First Lesson (The "Aizuchi" Disaster) The story goes that a young American businessman, let’s call him "Bob," was taught that to be polite, he must say Hai (Yes) constantly. In a meeting, his Japanese boss explained a complex shipping schedule. Bob nodded and said Hai, hai, hai fifteen times.