Pirates 2005 Archive.org -

It is 1.4GB. The runtime is 2 hours, 18 minutes, 44 seconds.

What follows is 92 minutes of Pirates (2005), the Golden Age adult film directed by Joone, starring Jesse Jane, Carmen Luthany, and Evan Stone as a parody Captain Edward Reynolds. It has a plot. It has ship battles. It has a budget of over $1 million. And it has absolutely nothing to do with Johnny Depp, except for the first 46 minutes of the file. pirates 2005 archive.org

Enter the uploader known only as (later deleted, later mythologized). The Upload: December 14, 2015 On a cold Monday night, a new file appeared in the "Feature Films" category. Metadata read: Title: Pirates (2005) Date: 2005 Runtime: 02:18:44 Description: "Unrated director's cut of the pirate epic. Starring Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley. Higher bitrate than DVD. For archival & educational use only." The thumbnail was a pixelated still of Jack Sparrow on the Interceptor ’s mast. Everything looked legitimate. The file size was a reasonable 1.4GB—too big for a cam, too small for a Blu-ray. The sweet spot. It is 1

Within 24 hours, the file had 8,000 views. Comments rolled in: "Thanks for this, hard to find the unrated cut." "Gonna watch this with my kid tonight, he loves pirates." "Seed this on IA, don't just stream." But then, at the 47-minute mark of the file, something changed. The film starts normally. Disney castle logo? No. A grainy "Lowry Digital" restoration card? Yes. For the first 45 minutes, it is The Curse of the Black Pearl . Jack arrives in Port Royal. The chase scene. "You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of." It has a plot