Hellhound Therapy Session -berz1337- < Limited Time >

"...That's surprisingly wholesome. Have you considered a hobby? Knitting with barbed wire? Competitive howling?"

"You want the real issue, doc? The silence . The Master used to whistle. Used to rattle our chains when we did good. Now he just stares into the Abyss. I think he’s depressed."

[End of log. Chains rattle. A distant, lonely howl echoes through the underworld.]

"Hungry. Not the good kind. The empty kennel for a millennium kind. He hasn't thrown us a sinner since Tuesday." Hellhound Therapy Session -Berz1337-

"Alright, Rustjaw. Let’s begin. On a scale from ‘smoldering ember’ to ‘total soul-meltdown,’ how are you feeling today?"

(for the first time, a slow, thrumming purr) "...Session's not over, is it, doc?"

(simultaneously, in a low, trembling growl) "The bone of a screaming prophet, buried under a weeping mountain, eaten hot." Competitive howling

"And if that doesn't work?"

"Tried both. Lost the knitting needle in my third stomach. Competitive howling just starts a riot."

"Frustrated. I bit a demon accountant yesterday. Didn't even growl back. Just filed a complaint in triplicate." Used to rattle our chains when we did good

(scribbling on a flaming clipboard) "So the core issue is a lack of purpose and an absent authority figure. Let’s try an exercise. I want each of you to finish this sentence: When I hear the word 'home,' I think of…'

"It is. That'll be three brimstone tokens. Next patient is a banshee with imposter syndrome. She thinks her wails aren't 'piercing enough.'"