Heaven And Earth Grocery Store Reviews -

“I died in this store in 1939. Dropped dead of joy when Chona finally smiled at me. Do not remodel the shelves. I am still sitting on the top one, watching you. The new owner plays good jazz on Sundays. Keep the radio on. I get lonely.”

“Overpriced. I went in for a simple pound of brisket and walked out with a lecture about ‘the soil of Chicken Hill’ and a pickle so sour it dissolved a spoon. The owner just hummed spirituals while a deaf kid fixed the cash register. Won’t be back. Also, they don’t take Visa.” Heaven And Earth Grocery Store Reviews

“Health code violation: Rat seen playing a tiny accordion near the gefilte fish. Fire hazard: Exits blocked by crates of ‘Miracle Soil.’ Noise complaint: Unidentified singing from the basement every Tuesday at 3 AM. This property should have been condemned in 1956. Yet every time we send an inspector, he comes out crying, holding a bagel, and muttering about his estranged brother.” “I died in this store in 1939

“My dad says this place is ‘structurally unsound.’ But last Tuesday, I sat in the back booth and read a comic book while an old lady named Dodo gave me a free egg cream. She said I looked like her grandson who moved to Detroit. I don’t care that the floor slants. It’s the only place in town where nobody asks me to ‘sit still.’” I am still sitting on the top one, watching you

You don’t go to The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store for efficiency. You go to remember that heaven is a shared cellar during a storm, and earth is the mud on your boots when you help a neighbor dig a new foundation. 4.5 stars for the soul. 1 star for the parking.