Geordie Shore Apr 2026

The Kitchen.

storms in, looking like a pumped-up pitbull in a spray-on T-shirt. He is furious.

wakes up in the hot tub, vomits quietly into a plant pot, and gives a thumbs up.

Wet wipes and empty bottles of CÎROC COCONUT WATER litter the floor. Geordie Shore

Two hours later, they are all banned from a karaoke bar called “The Crooning Cod.”

all scream in unison. The iconic synth bassline kicks in.

(Mumbling, not awake) Don’t… touch… me… lashes… The Kitchen

James grabs a bottle of vodka from the freezer. It’s 9:14 AM. He unscrews the cap.

The Stairs.

THE SCENE OPENS. The living room looks like a bomb hit a fancy dress shop and a kebab shop at the same time. A single, sad high heel lies on its side. A traffic cone is inexplicably on the coffee table. Confetti is stuck to everything. wakes up in the hot tub, vomits quietly

CHLOE (21), mascara smeared down her face like she’s auditioning for a horror film, rolls off the sofa. She lands on a half-inflated inflatable dolphin.

Welcome to the club, pet. Now get a brew down yer and tell us who you’re gonna chin today.

RIGHT. WHO PUT A FIREWORK IN MY BEDROOM TOILET?

James picks up the traffic cone and hurls it across the room. It knocks over a lamp.