Beat. Jamie peeks behind the bush.
(whispering to self) This is it. This is the spot.
(deadpan) Yep. There it is. Right on my neighbor’s prized begonias. (sighs, pulls out a bag) This is love. This is what love looks like.
Buster disappears behind the bush. Rustling sounds. Jamie hears a faint, satisfied “boof.” Pooping Dog Script
NO. WE JUST DID THIS.
Buster stands up. Nothing happened. He trots toward a bush.
Every dog owner knows. The perfect spot does not exist. Only the perfect inconvenience. This is the spot
(to the sky) WHY.
Buster stares into the middle distance. A single bird chirps. Buster turns around and faces Jamie directly, making intense eye contact.
You’re lucky you’re cute.
Buster runs off with the leash. Jamie stumbles after.
Buster trots three feet to the left. Sniffs a single leaf. Freezes. Turns slowly, like a bomb defuser.