Table Assembly Instructions — Nixon Coffee

"Look, I am not a handyman. But I am a patriot. I bought this table. I kept it on the floor. And I am not going to return it just because one leg is 2mm shorter than the others. That dog... that little cocker spaniel on the rug... the kids love that table."

Happy building. And remember: Have you ever assembled a piece of furniture that felt like a political scandal? Tell me about your "Ikea-gate" in the comments below! nixon coffee table assembly instructions

To attach the side panel to the mainframe, you aren't supposed to use glue. You are supposed to use . You must hold the cam lock in place while whispering, "I am not a crook," until the wood grain submits. "Look, I am not a handyman

This is the moment of truth. You press down on the surface. If the table wobbles, you don't just tighten a screw. You have to go on television (or Instagram Live) and explain to your followers: I kept it on the floor

I recently bought a piece of furniture called the

Suddenly,