SON My name is Ryan.
SON That was MOM.
DAVE (Slow, dangerous whisper) Who… turned the purple hanger toward the wall?
SON It’s a hanger.
DAVE (Scribbling) “Level 3 weirdness infraction.” Penalty: you must call me “Sir Dave” for 48 hours.
DAVE (Rubs temples) Not until you realign the bathroom towels by tensile strength.
DAVE Turn to page 304. Subsection B: “Eye contact while receiving critique.” -NEW- weird strict dad Script -PASTEBIN 2025- -...
Dave leaves.
SON Please no.
SON I’m going to live in a van.
DAVE (40s, buzz cut, cargo shorts, clip-on sunglasses around neck) stands arms crossed.
Son stares at camera (or audience).
SON That’s not how points work.
SON Last time you made me call you “The Administrator.”
SON Because you were staring at me for 20 minutes without speaking.