I am talking about The Meg 2 . I am talking about Anyone But You . I am talking about the return of the R-rated comedy that actually offends people, or the disaster movie where the logic holds up only if you are actively eating popcorn.
Because in a world of algorithmic slop, the most radical thing you can do is actually feel something about what you just watched—even if that feeling is "That was so stupid, I can't believe I paid for that."
Now, if you’ll excuse me, Die Hard 2 is on cable. And I hear it’s a Christmas movie.
Today, we are going to talk about the three-headed hydra ruining your weekend watchlist: The Algorithmic Slop, The Prestige Fatigue, and the glorious return of the Mid-Budget Garbage Fire. You have seen The Slop . It is the Netflix original movie where the premise is great ("A secret agent amnesiac who is also a baker falls for a rival spy who is also a florist!") but the execution feels like it was written by a committee of SEO specialists. Met-Art.13.05.01.Grace.C.Amaran.XXX.IMAGESET-FuGLi
The dialogue is flat. The lighting is overlit to the point of sterility. The actors are beautiful people delivering lines with the emotional cadence of a GPS system. Why? Because the algorithm doesn't like silence. The algorithm doesn't like moral ambiguity. The algorithm likes "viral moments" and "second screen content"—shows you can half-watch while doomscrolling Twitter.
October 26, 2023 Reading Time: 7 minutes
We have reached Peak Slop. Studios are no longer making art; they are making hours . They need to fill the infinite scroll. And as a result, our standards have crumbled. We accept "fine" because "fine" is the path of least resistance. I am talking about The Meg 2
Sometimes, you don’t want a metaphor for the soul-crushing weight of capitalism. Sometimes, you just want to see a car explode in a parking lot. This brings me to the glimmer of hope in the darkness. The hero we didn't know we needed. The Mid-Budget Garbage Fire .
You cannot remember a single character's name from the show you binged last week. Not one. Part II: The Prestige Fatigue (The Flowchart Problem) On the opposite end of the spectrum lies the "Elevated Horror" or the "10-Episode Movie." You know the ones. They star Florence Pugh or Adam Driver. The trailer features a haunting piano cover of a Radiohead song. The runtime is 2 hours and 40 minutes. The plot involves a metaphor for grief, but the metaphor is also a space whale.
The Overthinker’s Guide to the Pop Culture Multiverse Because in a world of algorithmic slop, the
For a decade, the mid-budget movie died. It was either a $200 million superhero epic or a $5 million indie about a divorce. There was no middle ground. But the audience is fighting back. We are tired of the IP. We are tired of the multiverse. We want original garbage.
What is the worst (best) Garbage Fire movie you’ve defended this year? Drop it in the comments. I will die on the hill of The Lost City .
Look, I loved Succession . I cried at Aftersun . I think Beef was a masterpiece. But we have hit a wall of self-importance. Not every show needs to be a trauma study. Not every movie needs to be a silent, 70mm meditation on the nature of rust.
There is a specific exhaustion that comes from "Prestige Fatigue." It is the feeling of being assigned homework by the culture. You don't watch Oppenheimer for fun; you watch it to participate in the discourse. We have turned leisure into labor.