Finn nodded solemnly. “And we never lost a younger sibling in a dumpster. Ollie lives in the dumpster every other Thursday. Recycling day.”
Ollie, who had just finished lashing a ladle to a broom handle, paused. “Press play. I need tactical inspiration for the weekend.”
A long silence. Then Finn whispered, “That’s a low bar.”
“You know,” Mark said slowly, “in the show, the dad eventually learns to embrace the chaos.” complete savages netflix
Sam sighed, but he was almost smiling. “Fine. But I’m not sharing a phone. You can all get your own burner flip phones from the gas station like civilized goblins.”
“It’s a tactical hide,” Ollie said. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“ Last Tuesday , Sam. The toaster. The bagel. The smoke alarm for four hours.” Finn nodded solemnly
“This is going to be a documentary about us,” Mark said, holding a bag of popcorn that was already mostly empty. “Complete Savages. Get it?”
“They learn to occasionally do laundry without flooding the basement.”
Sam snorted. “They’re amateurs . We haven’t had a working dishwasher since 2019. We just spray plates with the hose.” Recycling day
“That was art ,” Finn mumbled, mouth full of cheese dust.
Sam looked up. “And the kids?”
Ollie raised his spork. “I propose we become better Savages. Not the fake TV kind. The real kind. We build a functioning trebuchet. We start a neighborhood fire-watch co-op. We finally teach Dad how to use the streaming remote without calling me in from the backyard.”
Mark blinked. “I feel attacked but also… proud?”